Scenes from my Summer
I'm trying a different format in this post because sometimes life is a series of moments and they are connected simply because they are your story. My blog looks different too - it was time for a change :)
Here are some scenes since my last update 6 weeks ago, in somewhat chronological order...
SCENE: Watching the sun set on the porch in Wellfleet. Purples, pinks, and yellows. Enjoying a summer night with wet hair and a sweatshirt.
SCENE: Kayaking on the Charles for Fathers Day. Risking no bathroom in close proximity. Arm muscles aching. A great blue heron flying overhead. Feeling weak and strong at the same time.
SCENE: Returning to my workplace after 6 months away for the students' graduation ceremony and feeling flooded with happiness. Remembering all the reasons I love my job and getting excited to teach in the fall.
SCENE: First beach trip/long drive. Part A: laughing so hard with my sister at Crane's beach Part B: experiencing wonder while wandering around the Crane Estate (first time exploring and being spontaneous since surgery. gosh, I've missed travel.) Part C: searching desperately for a bathroom at the closed Crane Estate (reminder 1: this is why being spontaneous is still hard. reminder 2: it was still worth it)
SCENE: Sharing "roses and thorns" from the week in a group text with some close friends. Explaining that lately everything has been a rose or a thorn and I'm ready for some stems and leaves. We coined it "leafy time." (Note to future self: Remember when leafy time comes that I'm not bored; routine and structure are important and beautiful.)
SCENE: Laying on my yoga mat each morning and evening to do pelvic floor PT exercises. Instantly feeling calm when my body is on the floor. Feeling grateful that my "homework" forces me to slow down, lay down, and breathe.
SCENE: In a Biofeedback session, having a hard time saying, "I forgive my body." Able to say little easier, "I choose to forgive my body." Realizing there is a lot to still to work through with that.
SCENE: July 4th: first time swimming! Took a quick dunk in the pool, did a somersault as soon as I got in! Happy it felt like a safe space, ever so briefly. Thinking about trying laps...
SCENE: Listening to the news on the radio and being thankful that I have good health insurance. Getting angry that good health insurance isn't a guaranteed right for everyone in this country.
SCENE: Waking up one morning with ideas swirling in my mind from reading Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection and still thinking about the challenge of "forgiving my body." Deciding to practice self-love for the day. Total game-changer!! Realizing that there is beauty in the imperfection and I am still worthy of love from myself (and others too).
SCENE: Handing a clipboard and pen to new citizens after a naturalization ceremony and helping them to register to vote. Loving the way helping others fills me up inside. Recognizing that being healthy enough to help others is a gift.
SCENE: Discovering the world of IBD & social media (instagram, facebook) and starting to feel a part of those communities. Appreciating the honesty, positivity, and perspective of others who have a j-pouch. Especially struck by the experience of Texas Ranger baseball player Jake Diekman. I had my surgery a few weeks before him, and it is validating to know that even a pro-athlete can struggle with jpouch recovery- this stuff is not for the weak.
SCENE: Driving home from a teacher course (medium traffic) to sit at my computer and type a blog post while also thinking about plans to stop at the post office and do laundry later today. Considering that maybe today "leafy time" has begun to show itself. 💗
Here are some scenes since my last update 6 weeks ago, in somewhat chronological order...
SCENE: Watching the sun set on the porch in Wellfleet. Purples, pinks, and yellows. Enjoying a summer night with wet hair and a sweatshirt.
SCENE: Kayaking on the Charles for Fathers Day. Risking no bathroom in close proximity. Arm muscles aching. A great blue heron flying overhead. Feeling weak and strong at the same time.
SCENE: Returning to my workplace after 6 months away for the students' graduation ceremony and feeling flooded with happiness. Remembering all the reasons I love my job and getting excited to teach in the fall.
SCENE: First beach trip/long drive. Part A: laughing so hard with my sister at Crane's beach Part B: experiencing wonder while wandering around the Crane Estate (first time exploring and being spontaneous since surgery. gosh, I've missed travel.) Part C: searching desperately for a bathroom at the closed Crane Estate (reminder 1: this is why being spontaneous is still hard. reminder 2: it was still worth it)
SCENE: Sharing "roses and thorns" from the week in a group text with some close friends. Explaining that lately everything has been a rose or a thorn and I'm ready for some stems and leaves. We coined it "leafy time." (Note to future self: Remember when leafy time comes that I'm not bored; routine and structure are important and beautiful.)
SCENE: Laying on my yoga mat each morning and evening to do pelvic floor PT exercises. Instantly feeling calm when my body is on the floor. Feeling grateful that my "homework" forces me to slow down, lay down, and breathe.
SCENE: In a Biofeedback session, having a hard time saying, "I forgive my body." Able to say little easier, "I choose to forgive my body." Realizing there is a lot to still to work through with that.
SCENE: July 4th: first time swimming! Took a quick dunk in the pool, did a somersault as soon as I got in! Happy it felt like a safe space, ever so briefly. Thinking about trying laps...
SCENE: Listening to the news on the radio and being thankful that I have good health insurance. Getting angry that good health insurance isn't a guaranteed right for everyone in this country.
SCENE: Waking up one morning with ideas swirling in my mind from reading Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection and still thinking about the challenge of "forgiving my body." Deciding to practice self-love for the day. Total game-changer!! Realizing that there is beauty in the imperfection and I am still worthy of love from myself (and others too).
SCENE: Handing a clipboard and pen to new citizens after a naturalization ceremony and helping them to register to vote. Loving the way helping others fills me up inside. Recognizing that being healthy enough to help others is a gift.
SCENE: Discovering the world of IBD & social media (instagram, facebook) and starting to feel a part of those communities. Appreciating the honesty, positivity, and perspective of others who have a j-pouch. Especially struck by the experience of Texas Ranger baseball player Jake Diekman. I had my surgery a few weeks before him, and it is validating to know that even a pro-athlete can struggle with jpouch recovery- this stuff is not for the weak.
SCENE: Driving home from a teacher course (medium traffic) to sit at my computer and type a blog post while also thinking about plans to stop at the post office and do laundry later today. Considering that maybe today "leafy time" has begun to show itself. 💗
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