“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
*disclaimer: this post mentions bodily functions and the like, so you've been warned :)
On Thursday morning I woke up for work and I didn't feel right. I was nauseous and a little light-headed, so I called my dad to come over to monitor me. Later I learned that these symptoms were probably early signs of a blockage, but I didn't know at the time. I rested and ate and we even went on a walk- it was a really pleasantly warm fall day. However, after lunch I developed belly pain and I realized I hadn't gone #2 all day (very unusual for me). I tried to stay calm and drink lots of water and stretch. The pain just kept getting worse. I knew from past experience that this might be a blockage and that blockages can take time to resolve, so I tried to muscle through the pain and hope for the best. By dinnertime my belly was distended and I was frantically trying to type up teaching plans for the substitute in between surges of belly pain that literally made me bend over and wail.
We arrived at the ER around 9pm. It was packed with a wait time of 1-2 hours just to get seen. (If any of this sounds familiar, you're right. I have similar posts in January and June about issues that brought me to the ER) I could not breathe in the waiting room. The lights were bright, the TV was loud, the chair was small. I was hot and sweating and I thought I was going to pass out. My mom walked me to the restroom to see if I could pass a little gas. Within moments I vomited up all the water I had been drinking for 8 hours. And this, my friends, is how you get a cot.
I still had to wait my turn, but at least I was able to rest more comfortably (throwing up lessened the pressure on my belly and lying down helped a bit too). I waited in an open space with other people writhing in pain. Across from me was an elderly lady and next to me was a homeless man (I'm guessing from his stench), but we are all one human family when in comes to the hospital; emergencies don't discriminate.
Eventually I got a room in the ER and some pain meds. The room had a number that was something like RU2D, but we called it the R2-D2 room. It was a corner room without any chairs for visitors. My well-meaning parents put on a slapstick comedy show trying to get an oversized recliner chair into my small room. Because it was a corner there were 2 curtain entrances and they tried ramming it in through one curtain, only to get stuck and had to go through the other one. Ok, maybe you had to be there, but I was practically in tears from watching. My mom thought I was doing well and I remember her even asking me, "want to go home?" I wanted to so much, but I still hadn't had any movement in the bathroom department and I knew the pain would be back soon.
The rest of the story is long and painful. I will spare you the details but it involves a CT scan (with putrid berry contrast- again), an ambulance ride to the Colorectal floor of the hospital, an NG tube down my throat (that I couldn't hold down), more vomiting, more pain, IV fluids, walking the halls repeatedly. I know from teaching states of matter for years that one of the properties of gas is that its molecules spread out and take up as much space as possible. I got some hands on experience with that science concept- the gas was stuck in my intestines with no where to go and it felt like a balloon that needed to explode. But, then, after 48 hours of a blockage, what we were all waiting for finally happened: gas. Little by little the internal blockage broke and the plumbing was flowing again.
I know this might seem silly because once you are no longer in middle school bathroom topics are so taboo, particularly farting (!), but damn it is an important part of life. Really, farting is a sign of good health! The doctors would ask me about it multiple times a day and the nurses explained that it shows that digestion is taking place and nutrients are being broken down and are able to pass through.
There is even a Jewish blessing that is recited by religious Jews after going to the bathroom. I will let the translation speak for itself.
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| http://www.jewishpathways.com/files/asher-yatzar.pdf |
You might be wondering why this happened (good question, hoping to get more answers this week at my appointment) or how I'm doing now (blockage is resolved, but back to the post-surgery issues I've been dealing with for months). There's a lot more to share about my journey, but for now I will leave it there. I need to get a good night's rest for a full week of school! Special shoutout to my coworkers who took over all my work last week when I was too ill to write sub plans. Thanks to everyone for your support and good wishes. May you all have a wonderful week filled with lots of gas! 💩
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